So I was listening to Casting Crowns today, one of my favorite bands. Their song "Stained Glass Masquerade" came on and it really pulled a heartstring for me. I have been trying so hard lately to let go of my pride and give all my stress to God that it has made me very sad. I don't know why it has been so hard. This struggle brought me to Isaiah 40:28
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow weak or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
How small am I to worry about the trivial problems of the world when I have and everlasting Savior to guide me? How prideful can I be? How can I think that I can run my life?
My amazing friend Jessica Coffin told me one morning in church when I was not feeling entirely "worshipy" (I know, not a word), that if today I don't feel like smiling and being happy, don't. Don't be fake when you are feeling down. God will lift you up!!
So that brings me back to the chorus of "Stained Glass Masquerade"
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our
And smiles around our pain
But if the invitations open
To every heart that has been
Maybe then we'll close the
On our stained glass
Wow.........totally says it all right? I used to think this was a silly song, but when I was in service that day trying really hard to not look unhappy and trying to put a smile on so no one would see my hurt, this is exactly how I felt.
God doesn't expect me to be happy all the time. But I should delight in the fact that I can come to HIM with my sorrows and pain. That I truly don't have to worry about how people see my pain. The fact that I trust HIM and LOVE HIM will make my light shine!!!!!